A Very Emotional Visit

We had a visit to the doctor today. This time was a check in with my OB, Dr. Westmoreland. She had gotten the news last Friday from the specialist and called a couple of times to check on me. I wasn't really up for talking so Justin spent some time talking to her. She really wanted to see me, mainly for a mental check. I dreaded this appointment. It really got stuck in my mind yesterday and I couldn't let go of the anxiety. As hard as I am trying to be faithful and believe that everything is going to be okay each time, I have lost that innocence and joy I had felt up until this point. I didn't sleep much last night, cried all morning. The amazing show of God in my life is Dr. Westmoreland. She was recommended by one of our dear friends here that we met at church. Dr. Westmoreland herself was pregnant with triplets. She lost one at birth. She immediately came in and hugged me. Told me some of her story and shared her faith with me and how she got through it. I wasn't scheduled for an ultrasound but she asked if I wanted one. I had told her that I was having a hard time believing that the other ones are okay. The hardest part about having ultrasounds now is that it can be difficult for the technician to avoid showing Baby C while looking for the other two. I do not want to see her everytime, that is too painful. I will have to deliver her with the other two and that will be difficult enough. Fortunately, Dr. Westmoreland explained our situation and she was very careful and I was able to just look at Baby A and Baby B.. who looked great! I cannot tell you the sigh of relief that I felt seeing those heartbeats, and movements. I could see them swallow and move their little mouths. We talked to her for a little while afterwards. The plan right now is to monitor me closely. Apparently there are some risk involved with how my body will respond to the loss of Baby C. So every week to the doctor. I am praying that I will eventually come to have faith in the appointments and not expect bad news. It was a hard, hard emotional visit and day but I left feeling better. Please continue to pray for us as we continue this journey and that time will make each visit easier and easier.

Love, Luann and Justin