Taking Off My Cape

After much crying, debating, budgeting, praying, and thinking I made it official today with my job that I am resigning.  After a little over 10 years of management (with owning a small business) thrown in there, I am walking away in faith.  It truly is starting to feel real to me now. 


It's been such a roller coaster of emotions.  I always dreamed of having a "business career".  Some girls dream of growing up, having babies, and raising them.. I dreamed of suits, briefcases, offices with a view, cute pumps, water cooler conversation, and CEO title behind my name.  Funny how those plans you make aren't always what He has in mind.  I am reminded so much these last few months of this verse from Isaiah

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Months ago I believe God began stirring in my life and in my heart to lead me to this decision.  You know its a God thing when after struggling with  a decision for so long, the instant you arrive at making it, there is such a peace.  Such a peace in trusting God even when you don't know what is next. My work began to be as I told my boss today "too much".  Justin travels a lot.  And my job is demanding.. a lot.  People think of "banker hours" but those days are over.. especially in the big banks like Wells Fargo we open at 6:50 and we close at 6:15.  We stay late as 8:00 at night to make calls and some Saturdays we are there until 5.  All of this added up to way too much time away from my boys!   And aren't my boys the most important job? I am blessed and humbled that God has not only paved the way in my heart but paved the way financially for this decision as well. So what am I going to do?  I am going to slow down and enjoy my little ones during this precious time. I am going to join a Bible study and playgroup. I am going to tickle and laugh.  I am going to stop and smell the roses. I am  going to get so many hugs and kisses!  I am going to have adventures.  I am going to clean my house and cook our meals.  I am going to craft and make huge messes.  I am going to drive Justin crazy when he is home. I am going to take naps. I am going to teach my little boys (or attempt to). I am going to look forward to the 2 days of Mother's Day out we have scheduled.  I am going to reconnect with friends that stay at home.  And fall deeper into my blogging and Pinterest addictions.  I am going to be totally overwhelmed and stressed by the extraordinary job of raising twin toddlers.   It was an emotional day.  I cried.  When I told my staff, my sweet girls cried.  My boss was gracious and understanding and told me that no matter what time of the day or night if I changed my mind, call her!  Or if I decide to come back, call her!  I cried on the way to pick them up just overwhelmed by the changes and the emotional stress of this decision.  That all changed when too little boys can running to me screaming "mommy mommy" when I picked them up.  Beckett threw his arms around me and squeezed me so tight.  I took a deep breath in his embrace just feeling the grace of God all around me.  I said "I love you Beckett" and he said "I love you too".  The confirmation that I had in fact, made the right decision. I was talking to them on the way home.  I told them that today was a big day for Mommy.  "I told my boss that I was going to stay home and play with my boys.. who wants to stay home and play with Mommy?" To which Eli responds, "No Mommy! Play Dee Dee!"  Awesome.  Shows where I rank! So maybe we will play with Dee Dee too..  Do I know what I will do next?  No clue.  Do I know where God is leading me with this? No way.  But I feel a new beginning stirring in my life and I am praying and trusting Him to show me the way?  How will He use me?  What people will He bring into life? What hardships? What blessings?  And mainly.. what lessons.  A lesson in trust. A lesson in faith. A lesson in family first.   For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 11 Standing on the promises! Love, The Riley's